The Biggest Deal with the Biggest Fan
by ArlecchiNin
Summary: Madara vs Sasuke. Madara has invited Sasuke over his humble home to have a tea party. Sasuke showed up with crumpets and a nine tailed fox. Madara didn't like dolls either, he would rather be the guide of a coin operated blind boy. IzuMada 'N' NaruSasu.


**The Biggest Deal with the Biggest Fan**

**Summary:** |**Madara** vs **Sasuke**| Madara has invited Sasuke over his humble home to have a tea party. Sasuke showed up with crumpets and a nine tailed fox. Madara didn't like dolls either, he would rather be the guide of a coin operated blind boy. Yes, cracked incest and NaruSasu (L)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them. But I believe these two couples are canon! Yes, I do.

Lyrics in the beginning are by Florence ^ .^

**Warning:** Crack, crack, crack! [that's my brain XD]

I love Madara, Madara ILU ^^

**Notes:** My two favorite boys couples having arguments Uchiha-style with an Uzumaki in the middle. Because CK-san is amazing and because the other day I was having a very interesting conversation with Arreanain-san! ^^

Enjoy!

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"_And in the spring I shed my skin  
And it blows away with the changing wind  
The waters turn from blue to red  
As towards the sky I offer it_

This is a gift, it comes with a price  
Who is the lamb and who is the knife  
Midas is king and he holds me so tight  
And turns me to gold in the sunlight_."_

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Naruto was standing at the front door holding a basket full of cupcakes, muffins, cookies and sweet pies of multiple flavors. He whistled happily and his trademark Uzumaki smile kept stretching from one corner to the other of his mouth. His eyes glittered and glistered especially every time that Sasuke sighed bothered and tightened his grip clinging in the process to his boyfriend's tanned arm.

The bell had ringed and rung and rung more. The owners didn't seem to mind all the ruckus that that noise made in their eardrums. Maybe they were too busy attending their own businesses as to care for the two lovers patiently –or impatiently– waiting outside.

The door opened with a slam. Yeah, the door – was opened – with a violent slam to Sasuke's disgust.

"What the hell are you doing this early?" asked the aggressive male with the door handle still inside his closed fist.

"The hell we are doing here? You were the idiot who asked me to bring the dobe with me so we have to mess our free time seeping tea from your ego cup in your beloved company instead of having him all over myself-" screamed Sasuke at the top of his lungs startling the blond standing next to him.

"Too much information! What the hell are you talking about, little brat? I let you date an Uzumaki and this is how you pay me back! Ungrateful, ungrateful heir of our pure Uchiha blood!" was the response to the quarrel he had started with the young man.

At this very moment someone else intervened to cool down the mood.

"What a hassle! Oh Sasuke, welcome to our home sweet home. I see that Naruto is going to literally make it very sweet," smiled Izuna, patting Madara on the shoulder and looking intently at the puzzled couple.

Sasuke crossed the welcome mat hand in hands with Naruto following suit. They walked up the hall and entered the living room guided by a very merry Izuna who pointed a comfortable looking sofa for them to have a seat.

"Please have a seat, boys," said Izuna politely to Naruto and Sasuke.

"Yeah, you guys look so frazzled."

"Shut up, old hag. In the least, we don't sweat our guts looking for a needle in a haystack," grunted Sasuke at Madara who was now sitting and swinging himself in a rocking chair near the tea table.

Izuna picked the teapot and a white cup with a creamy plate and serving the tea he gently offered it to Naruto who was seated closer to him having a much huffed Sasuke by his side.

Madara's left eye twitched –we can't know about the other since he covered it up in a fringey emo fashion. Sasuke didn't bother to blink not even once at that pair of eyes throwing daggers at him.

"Are you done insulting me?"

"What do you want from us?" asked Sasuke bluntly. "Cut to the chase, I want to eat my tomatoes", he turned and faced Naruto who placed a huge and very red and very fresh tomato into his boyfriend's hand.

Sasuke took a bit at it and glared at Madara waiting for him to start to speak again. But even then, Madara was too busy fanning himself with a fan that had the Uchiha crest printed in the middle. It was September, damnit!

"This – is – so – much – fun" spoke Madara in the end.

Sasuke had been boiling his anger for awhile now and he was ready to explode before any ultimatum or countdown. On the other hand, Naruto and Izuna were talking about this and that without minding that much what their uke princes were bitching at each other about.

"I offer you the glamour of having traits with that unique blond boy but you keep tossing the pill around. Bad boy, Sasuke."

"What?" cried out the raven completely out of his mind.

"Nuts?" Madara picked the said and brought one to his mouth. Izuna offered him a cup of tea and sugar.

"Sugar, Sasuke?" asked Izuna with a friendly tone.

"No, thanks," Sasuke shook his head and darted his eyes toward Naruto who looked back into his obsidian eyes with a playful smile. Sasuke was pulled away a bit from Madara's target reach when Naruto sat the young Uchiha on his lap and the latter leaned –almost hiding– his face on his lover's shoulder.

Madara raised an eyebrow very pleased to see the lovebirds had such chemistry. And he was very pleased with himself because the plan was head on heels just like he had set it to be.

"I see now," Madara thought to himself looking in his brother lover's direction who was heartedly pleased with the boys sitting on their sofa in the living room of their Uchiha home.

"Let's see, Sasuke. What about the fan-girls?" Madara stated very demandingly after some longs seeps of green tea.

"I don't know any except for my Mom and I don't give a damn– " he left his sentence pending in the air while taking a good look at those strong arms that were loosely wrapped around his shoulders. Even from his profile picture he could appreciate a blue gleam transcending among the musky epidermis of those wildly scarred cheeks. The smile was a grin –deeper than any simple gesture of body language.

"Sasuke, your drool will stain the cushions," remarked Madara with disdain.

Izuna chuckled due to the fore mentioned sentence and Naruto giggled foxy style. Sasuke didn't answer with words to his relative's complains, Naruto was just drawn closer to him and he licked the blond boy's earlobe as in response to Madara snuggling into how they were coping up with their relationship.

"Why don't you cut the cake? Izuna, my darling, will you?" ordered Madara trying to pretend being malicious and hide the affected crimson shade that flushed his voice when referring to his younger sibling.

"Of course," rushed Izuna, standing up to slide in the kitchen and be back in lightening speed in the center of the living room holding a big pie in his hands. He laid it down on the tea table and started to cut it in perfect geometrical slices.

Madara stood up from the rocking chair and picking a plate with two triangle shaped slices he offered them to Sasuke. Sasuke wouldn't have given too much thought to it but it was like playing chess with a compulsive player who refused to have the game even. And so there, he did change his seating position on Naruto's lap in order to accept the plate with the cake on it.

Naruto complained a little too when he felt that Sasuke's weight was warming up his crotch no longer. Izuna provided his conversation to the Uzumaki jewel to repair the damage done by his elder sibling.

Minutes later, they were both absorbed in deep conversation.

"In the least…Have you gotten your rings already?" barked Madara roughly again at his youngest relative.

Sasuke denied with a slight movement of his head. Izuna and Naruto were now too busy devouring the contents of the basket as to pay attention to drama uke queen chit chats. So Madara and Sasuke exchanged looks of understanding and both pulled their counterparts by the collar of their shirts at the same time and dragged them to each of the rooms destined to both couples.

Talks and deals would have to wait. There was no big deal after all but to be your lover's biggest fan.

~Fin*

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**Final notes:** Yeah! Uchiha-victorian style, babe! EA and Florence rule! And so do NaruSasu and IzuMada! You can share with me whatever thoughts you want! ^^


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